Gemini moment of the day: in the interest of my own mental
health, I’ve decided I’m not allowed to have more than 5 books going at
a time (school books & how-to books I’m actually working through
don’t count). Current list:
Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler. Because every article I’ve
ever read on Paganism cites it and it’s really interesting, dry
academic style notwithstanding.
Complexity by M. Mitchell Waldrop. Recommended by one of the few
interesting people in my phonology class. Sucked me in from page
one, and almost gives me hope for academia. Soon as I’m finished
I plan to go looking for something more recent on the subject.
Art Fundamentals: Theory & Practice by Ocvirk, Bone, Stinson &
Wigg. Yes, I am reading an art textbook. I’m learning a lot.
The Old Man & The Sea by Hemingway. Because I’ve never read
it and should. I’ve just barely started it. Plan not to
rush it at all on the advice of my elsest brother.
Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott. Because Mom gave it to me and I
want to be able to truthfully say that I read it. It’s another
I’ve just barely started.
Hand surgery (aka mercury/pluto, which are currently forming a sextile)
went as well as can be reasonably expected. Hurts like a bitch
but given that they took a chunk out of my bone, there’s not really any
avoiding that. Despite the fact that I can barely write and
am typing with just my left hand, I feel really good about having had
this done. It will heal. Many thanks to all of you who had
me in your thoughts/prayers/etc.
I emailed the director of the Library Tech program to ask if the fall 2007 session is already full. Apparently there’s still lots of space. Yay! Application is in, letters of reference & official transcripts are en route. Now I just have to hang out and wait til they start scheduling interviews.
And I now have a time for my surgery. 1pm Monday afternoon. Deep breath & lots of faith.
“Religious misery is at once the expression of real misery and a
protest against that misery. Religion is the sigh of the hard
pressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, the spirit of
unspiritual conditions. It is the opium of the people.”
-Karl Marx
Rather different from the context most of us first heard it in, hrm?
In other news:
1) Wrist surgery is on Monday. Please send good thoughts, pray,
cast a spell, implore the divine however you prefer. I cannot
even begin to describe how fervently I hope that this works.
2) I’ve decided that this is my last semester at SFU. I’ve
applied to the Library Tech 2-year diploma program at Langara College,
so as to set myself up with a half-decent income and a job might even
rather like while I go about learning pottery and setting up a ceramics
studio.
This is less out of the blue than you might think. I’ve been
trying to find some way to justify leaving university since
mid-September, but only in light of my upcoming surgery has this become
possible. I did some pottery work in high school and absolutely
loved it, but knew my wrists would not be able to take the work for
very long, so the possibility of going into ceramics got written off
immediately as impossible. But if my wrists are no longer an
issue… well, that changes things.
3) On account of this, I’ve dropped my shittiest class (I was only
taking it because it was a requirement anyhow) and so now am only
taking three classes this semester (just enough to retain “full time” status). Finally, I have time to
pursue other interests.
This has all been building and building for ages, but within the last
week it has crystallized. My life is now headed an entirely
different direction than it was a few days ago.
I feel an incredible sense of relief, tempered by worry about the
surgery and whether or not I can still get into the program at
Langara. There’s a possibility that it might already be full,
although I doubt it.
The past few months have been very very dark for me. I think I may finally be starting to see a gleam of hope.
Much as I would dearly love to spend next near in Quebec City, I don’t
think I’m going to. I was poking around the Laval University
website the other day and found a semester-long french intensive
program that I could do the spring after I graduate, and which
ultimately makes more sense for me. It would mean I’d already
have my degree, I wouldn’t have to worry about the grand rigamarole of
trying to get transfer credit, and if I discover that I like Quebec
City as much as I think I do, I can just stay there afterwards.
There’s work there for ESL teachers, I’m sure. It would also mean
that I can develop friendships/relationships here without that nagging
voice in my head telling me there’s no point because I’m leaving soon
anyways. Staying would mean I can plow through my linguistics
work without losing momentum or having time to forget all the basic
stuff I’ve learned that you do actually need for upper-division stuff,
and then when I’m done I just don’t have to worry about that any more
at all. It would mean I could get my degree and get the hell out
of Dodge before the Olympics come to town, which for me is definitely
an upside cause this city’s going to be completely insane during
that.
The downside is basically that I’ll have to wait and keep plugging away
at my work here, but that’s not the end of the world.
Oh, and one more big upside is that I can get a place with my friend
Angela again. We lived together last year and did very
well. This year we got separate places, which have been ok, but
we’d both prefer to move back in together. We’re both weird, but
as she put it, they’re very complimentary forms of weirdness, and we
don’t get on each other’s nerves much at all. This time we’re
each getting our own bedroom though! Last year we shared a very
large room, but it was still only one room, and we had enough of that
the first time `round.
With any luck we’ll be able to drag one of our friends from Whitehorse
down to the dark side as well. He needs a kick in the butt to get
moving sometimes, but it’s really about time he got out on his
own. Angel & I both tend to mother the boy in question, and
he doesn’t seem to mind, so living with us might be a good transition
from living at his parents, and not quite as scary as getting kicked
out on the curb all by himself.
So yeah. Probably no Quebec next year. The idea’s not given up - just put on hold til after I graduate.
Oh, this will also give me a little more room to maneuver in terms of
academic scheduling, which at SFU is very important. The most
common complaint I hear about the place is the difficulty of getting
the classes you need/want, and it’s not a matter of exaggeration
either. Getting a late enrollment date is quite possibly the
worst thing that can happen to you there, and nobody really knows how
they get assigned. Supposedly high marks & seniority will
help, but not always. Personally I suspect it’s mostly
random. Not to mention that most of the classes you want will not
be offered when you can actually take them, or only offered every four
years, or some such foolishness. Word of advice: do required
courses absolutely as soon as possible even if the schedule sucks,
because the schedule will always suck, and at least that way you get
them. Then be prepared to take sucky electives if
necessary. You know all those interesting classes you see in the
catalogue that you’d just love to take? Accept the fact that you
will never get to take most of them. At least not if you want to
finish your degree in something approaching a reasonable
timeframe.
The longer I’m here, the more I detest academia.
In 2002, SFU found itself in the middle of a big ugly scandal about
cheating. The most visible result of this is that the school has
since implemented very strict policies regarding plagiarism, with
consequences that range from failing a class to getting kicked out of
the school. At the beginning of every semester, every prof in
every class gives an outline of what is considered plagiarism, how to
avoid it, and what the penalties are. I sat through three
plagiarism lectures yesterday. Fine, good, ok, plagiarism =
bad. We get it.
There must have been a number of “incidents” last semester though,
cause we’re getting beat over the head about it more than usual this
semester. All the syllabi (I think that’s the plural of syllabus,
but don’t know) included a section on it, and the introductory lectures
on the subject were longer and more intense than they have been in the
past. In one of my classes, there is now a requirement that we
include a handwritten certification on the cover sheet of each paper
which states the following:
I certify that I understand that academic honesty is a cornerstone of
the development and acquisition of knowledge and that academic honesty
is a condition of continued membership in the university
community. I also certify that I understand the nature of forms
of academic dishonesty. In particular, I understand that
plagiarism is a form of academic dishonesty in which an individual
submits or presents the work of another person as his or her own.
I understand that the penalties imposed by Simon Fraser University for
academic dishonesty may include but are not limited to one or more of
the following: a warning, a verbal or written reprimand, reassessment
of work, failure on a particular assignment, failure in a course,
denial of admission or readmission to the University, deregistration,
forfeiture of University awards or financial assistance, suspension or
permanent suspension from the University or revocation of a degree.
When I have used excerpts from another author
in this assignment (words, phrases, or sentences), I have used
quotation marks and citations with page numbers to indicate the source
of these words. When I have referred to the ideas of another
author, but expressed them using my own words, I have provided
citations. My citations and reference list are complete and
correct. I have correctly used the format from ____ style sheet
for my citations, quotations, and references.
signature, date.
That class also requires that we include two photocopied pages from
each of the references we use, preferably parts that we actually used
in the paper.
This strikes me as overkill, not to mention a huge waste of paper,
particularly in a 300-level course. By the time a student reaches
that level, they’ve been through the plagiarism lecture at least 15
times, and probably more. We get it. For legal reasons I
realize the profs have to give notice, but at this point a brief
statement of the Academic Honesty policy would suffice. It really
would. Now can we please just get down to the business of getting
through the course?
Over Christmas, I got used to having free time. Silly me.
Now school’s started, and it’s back to sitting at my desk reading
articles that range from boring to, as Gordon Korman so appropriately
said, interesting in a boring sort of way.
It’s all good though. This semester should be much better than
last. My Linguistic Argumentation class is going to be so much
work that just looking at the syllabus is kind of disheartening, but at
least it’s the sort that will pay off. My other three classes
will be work, but not so much that they’re frightening.
The most notable recent development in my life is that on January 29th
I will be having surgery done on my right wrist, hopefully correcting
the painful problems I’ve been having with it since I was 13. If
it works, I plan to do the other wrist shortly thereafter.
See, over the break I finally got in to see a specialist about this,
and it took him all of 5 minutes and a glance at the x-ray to be pretty
much certain what’s wrong. Apparently one of the bones in my
forearm is 3 or 4 mm longer than it’s supposed to be, and has been
tearing up the ligaments & tendons & things, so he’s going to
take a wedge out of the bone to shorten it. This is common enough
that he sees it on something approaching a regular basis. So all
of a sudden I found myself signing things and being given instructions
about making sure I have somebody to take me home afterwards.
On the way home from the appointment I sat on the bus in a daze, crying
from relief and the frustration that I’ve been seeing doctors about
this for 7 years, and only now has somebody actually been able to tell
me what they hell is going on. I have been given a wide range of
painkillers, worn a splint, been sent to physiotherapy, massage
therapy, acupuncture and pretty much anything else you can think of,
but not once before this has there been a definitive “this is what’s
wrong, here’s what you do to fix it.” Every semester I barely
make it through exams because of this. I had resigned myself to
the idea that this was just going to keep getting worse until I
eventually couldn’t write or type or knit or anything anymore, and now
to find out that there’s a very good possibility that this can be
fixed… well… it floored me.
Mom’s coming down again for it. I know it’s an
inconvenience and I don’t think it’s really necessary as such, but I
think she’d like to be here cause she offered right away, and I’d like
to have her here. For all that we don’t get along a lot of the
time, she’s still my mom, and she still looks after me sometimes.
I’ve never had surgery for anything before, and while I’m not that
freaked out about it, I’d still just like to have my mom there.
I also know I should probably not be having this done during the middle
of the semester cause it’s going to take a while to heal, but I want it
done as soon as possible. I’ve been dealing with this for so long
that I refuse to wait. I’ll find some way to make it
through. I just want this to be finished. And now there’s
the possibility that it actually will be!