Entertainment courtesy of my friend Angela.
“Well, as far as actual usefulness, Canada’s probably got one of the best-trained armies in the world.”
“Yeah, it’s just not very big.”
“True, but I mean, in international competitions, our snipers routinely wipe the world’s ass!”
*pause*
*giggle*
“Y’know, I really don’t think I’d like to wipe the world’s ass. Actually, it sounds rather degrading and gross to me!”
“Okay, okay, poor choice of words. What I mean is…”
“No, no, it makes perfect sense if you think about it. What’s
peace-keeping after all? Cleaning up everybody else’s shit!”
“What, you want Canada to have that image?”
“Sure! Why not?”
New slogan:
Canada: Wiping the world’s ass, one sniper at a time!
Why so bitter?
Went to sleep at 5am.
Got up at 7:30am to make it to Royal Columbian Hospital for 8:45 appointment.
Went to school, curled up on un-comfy couch in the Ling Student Union
common room until 11:30 when was interrupted by group of giggly girls
chattering about their boyfriends and valentine’s day. *gag*
Got coffee, headed to 12:30 english class, only to find a “cancelled” sign on the door. That was my only class today.
Came home, intend to take nap.
Sweet dreams.
Some kinder casuists are pleased to say
In nameless print - that I have no devotion;
But set those persons down with me to pray,
And you shall see who has the properest notion
Of getting into Heaven the shortest way;
My altars are the mountains and the ocean,
Earth, air, stars - all that springs from the great Whole,
Who hath produced, and will recieve the soul.
-Lord Byron, Don Juan, III.104
Unfortunately he was also an inconsiderate, arrogant dick. Pity that.
Mean cold claws
Up your back,
Suddenly.
They clamp over your mouth and eyes,
Drag you flailing
Off into the dark unknown.
Can’t you see the rims of their narrowed eyes,
That glow
Out there in the fog?